Post by Yanden on Jun 3, 2003 23:11:38 GMT -5
In 2003 a young man became the first man to attempt to cross the Andes by frog. He had already attempted (and failed) to sail round the world on a rabbit, and his attempt to cross Spitzbergen on an halibut had proved spectacularly unsuccessful in 1998. What follows is this young man's personal account of one of the most arduous journeys ever attempted.
Across the Andes by Frog.
Iquique, Jan. 19
Expedition delayed by three days after the frog was squashed when I sat on it.
We wait around in the sultry heat of this coastal town till another frog is found.
Iquique, Jan. 21
A perfect day to set off.
The sunshine was bright, but a north-easterly wind kept us cool.
The baggage porters had at last settled their differences over pay, and the forecast was good. ;D
However, as soon as I mounted the frog, I squashed it.
Oh the frustrations!
We must reach the American foothills by mid-Febuary before the vicious South American winter will set in.
Iquique, Jan 26
I have tried mounting frogs without a saddle and even tried with my haversack off, but they always squash as soon as I sit on them.
Have decided to try a different approach.
I will walk and the frog can carry the baggage. It will be hard work, especially in the mountains, but I would rather suffer some discomfort than give up now.
Iquique, Jan. 27
The frog has proven incapable of carrying even the lightest hold.
Seven or eight were squashed in succession last night while we were trying to load up.
Iquique, Jan. 28
Today, at last, we set out from the main square here in Iquique, on the 500-mile journey to Santa Cruz in Bolivia. ;D
The frog unladden by any baggage set a furious pace, and we lost it through a hole in the wall not ten yards from where we started.
Iquique, Feb. 6
The days pass by in a long and frustrating week, while we design a special frog harness.
The Andean winter gets closer as every day goes by.
The conditions in the mountains could be hell.
Iquique, Feb. 7
The frogs are so slippery that any harness is impossible to fit.
They are sending to Belgium for a specialist.
Iquique, Mar. 30
At last, the Belgian specialist has arrived. ;D
He says that frogs are totally unsuitable for this sort of journey.
The man is a complete Fraud.
We refuse to pay his return fare.
Iquique, Mar. 31
Wake up with a huge Malaysian Leper Frog at my throat.
The Belgian specialist eventually calls it off after we promise to pay his return fare.
Iquique, Mar. 32
Decide to set off with frog in a box.
The weather holds out, and we make good progress. ;D
We reach the outskirts of Pozo Almonte before I discover someone has let the frog out of the box.
Pozo Almonte, Mar. 33
I am beginning to have suspicions about my Chilean calender.
Pozo Almonte, Mar. 34
Success! ;D
I discover a frog in my lunch, so I put it in the box and set out again.
Iquique, Mar. 35
I misread the map.
Simple mistake. ;D
Bump into the Belgian specialist in the street.
He hits me with a South American Singing Toad, which he was taking to the vet.
I report him to the RSPCA.
Iquique, Mar. 35
RSPCA man arrives.
He says he was called for a matter of sixteen frogs squashed under my care.
Iquique, Mar. 37
How the frogs have let me down,
making a mockery of the oft-repeated maxim.
"A mans best friend is his frog".
Decide to take up a new challenge with a more reliable creature.
Decide to attempt the first crossing of the Skaggerak by maggot. ;D
London, Mar. 43
So my chilean calender was right. It really is March 43rd.
The End.
Next week read of the Crossing of the Skaggerak by Maggot. ;D
Across the Andes by Frog.
Iquique, Jan. 19
Expedition delayed by three days after the frog was squashed when I sat on it.
We wait around in the sultry heat of this coastal town till another frog is found.
Iquique, Jan. 21
A perfect day to set off.
The sunshine was bright, but a north-easterly wind kept us cool.
The baggage porters had at last settled their differences over pay, and the forecast was good. ;D
However, as soon as I mounted the frog, I squashed it.
Oh the frustrations!
We must reach the American foothills by mid-Febuary before the vicious South American winter will set in.
Iquique, Jan 26
I have tried mounting frogs without a saddle and even tried with my haversack off, but they always squash as soon as I sit on them.
Have decided to try a different approach.
I will walk and the frog can carry the baggage. It will be hard work, especially in the mountains, but I would rather suffer some discomfort than give up now.
Iquique, Jan. 27
The frog has proven incapable of carrying even the lightest hold.
Seven or eight were squashed in succession last night while we were trying to load up.
Iquique, Jan. 28
Today, at last, we set out from the main square here in Iquique, on the 500-mile journey to Santa Cruz in Bolivia. ;D
The frog unladden by any baggage set a furious pace, and we lost it through a hole in the wall not ten yards from where we started.
Iquique, Feb. 6
The days pass by in a long and frustrating week, while we design a special frog harness.
The Andean winter gets closer as every day goes by.
The conditions in the mountains could be hell.
Iquique, Feb. 7
The frogs are so slippery that any harness is impossible to fit.
They are sending to Belgium for a specialist.
Iquique, Mar. 30
At last, the Belgian specialist has arrived. ;D
He says that frogs are totally unsuitable for this sort of journey.
The man is a complete Fraud.
We refuse to pay his return fare.
Iquique, Mar. 31
Wake up with a huge Malaysian Leper Frog at my throat.
The Belgian specialist eventually calls it off after we promise to pay his return fare.
Iquique, Mar. 32
Decide to set off with frog in a box.
The weather holds out, and we make good progress. ;D
We reach the outskirts of Pozo Almonte before I discover someone has let the frog out of the box.
Pozo Almonte, Mar. 33
I am beginning to have suspicions about my Chilean calender.
Pozo Almonte, Mar. 34
Success! ;D
I discover a frog in my lunch, so I put it in the box and set out again.
Iquique, Mar. 35
I misread the map.
Simple mistake. ;D
Bump into the Belgian specialist in the street.
He hits me with a South American Singing Toad, which he was taking to the vet.
I report him to the RSPCA.
Iquique, Mar. 35
RSPCA man arrives.
He says he was called for a matter of sixteen frogs squashed under my care.
Iquique, Mar. 37
How the frogs have let me down,
making a mockery of the oft-repeated maxim.
"A mans best friend is his frog".
Decide to take up a new challenge with a more reliable creature.
Decide to attempt the first crossing of the Skaggerak by maggot. ;D
London, Mar. 43
So my chilean calender was right. It really is March 43rd.
The End.
Next week read of the Crossing of the Skaggerak by Maggot. ;D